Plans...

i hate making plans...
i can't make plans...

because my plans never work out!!!!

ok.. this is juz a filler post in case u din realise...

i dunno wat to update!!!??? anyone interested in anything at all?

Last but not least

I was away during the weekend. Instead of joining a very important seminar which i dearly missed and also meeting up and catching up with friends from all over the places, I choose to go alone to the airport to welcome the new batch of juniors arriving in Germany for the very first time after 2 and a half years of preparation in Malaysia. And I am very thankful for that.

It reminds me of a lot of things. It reminds me of who I was and how much I've changed since then and I appreciate the then-me because without it, there will be no now-me. It reminds me of my fellow ALG comrades when they first arrive, and oh boy how much we all have grown!

Looking at my fellow juniors, five years really seems like five minutes. And thanks to the very encouraging email from Mr E this morning, I was reminded of sth which can describe my feeling at the moment.

A Time for Everything

1 There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:2  a time to be born and a time to die,    a time to plant and a time to uproot,3  a time to kill and a time to heal,    a time to tear down and a time to build,4  a time to weep and a time to laugh,    a time to mourn and a time to dance,5  a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,6  a time to search and a time to give up,    a time to keep and a time to throw away,7  a time to tear and a time to mend,    a time to be silent and a time to speak,8  a time to love and a time to hate,    a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-9 (NIV)

Signing out,
Just-five-minutes-older-Pat

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Note from God to me...

To: YOU
Date: TODAY
From: GOD
Subject: YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE

This i s God. Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day.
I love you.

P.S. And, remember...
If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do Not attempt to resolve it yourself! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours.

Keep praying!

Keep those prayers coming for zira, no matter where u are n who u are... Press on to believe!

Help!

trying to do CPR on my drowning N82... more updates later...

#update!
my phone was resurrected from the dead!!! hair dryer works wonders i tel u! my N82 is such a strong-hearted phone who doesn't giv up on it's owner yet!

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Tips on how to pack for Germany...

since i m super-duper lazy to post sth significant bout myself, might as well i post sth useful for others...

it happens like this - i was soooooo bored in class today because i can't understand a thing... *will tel u bout tat in my other posts, if there's any... therefore, together wif my housemate aka classmate, Miss L, we decided to list down a few things which we, personally found it important and decided to share wif ppl out there who somehow read this accidentally or purposefully...

1. More food stuff than clothes... trust me, ur fashion sense will change during the first few months in Germany and soon enough, u will be asking urself, y do u brought them here in the first place - in other words, more reason to SHOP!!!)

2. Stationeries (in other words, everything u needed for studies, juz to name a few, eg calculator, pens, the 3 diff size of mechanical pencils from GMI etc etc...)

3. Rice cooker - this thing works magic...

4. Medicine for flu and sorethroat - needless to say, the first winter experience for most of us is not exactly the best one...

5. For the religious ppl (like me and miss L) do bring your holy book along because it is not easy to find one in the language u REALLY understand... for muslims, it is also advisable to bring along ur sejadah... n those who manage to settle in Offenburg will of course be provided wif one because i do happen to hav one by accident... haha

6. Accesories - if you do wear them... miss L mentioned tat it is damn expensive here (obviously i don really wear them)

7. I personally don recommend bringing any books because you only hav 25 kg to spare for food and clothes only...

8. If i could turn back the time now, all i will put in my luggage is local spices n seasonings, all sorts of maggi perencah i can find in Giant, bak kut teh, laksa sauce, kompia, kampua, ikan bilis, dried scallops, dried prawns... *my mouth juz watered thinking bout them...

Achtung! edited : (new things added)
9. Bring a LAN cable... ur first 3 weeks of internet connection lies in this thing...

10. Bring extra biometric photos... u might juz need it for emergency purposes...

anyone has anything to add? u r most welcome to!

to let go or not to let go?

This post is the sequel to the previous one, inspired by the lovely and loud visitors (since there are 2 sibu-ians among them) when they were with me on saturday.

So this time it is Miss M, who I had a really really good conversation with. We manage to find time to squeeze in a sharing session in the middle of the night, after they cooked me supper - korean ramen with melting cheese on top (yummeh!) So as icebreaker, i asked her THE question and it naturally lead the conversation into the topic of BGR, so we discussed a bit of what our stands are , then it sort of went into a small sub-topic which really strikes me a lot - the asian church culture.  After being in Germany for nearly 3 years, i tend to forget how was it back then in Acts, when it is a cool n hip thing to go to church.  In Germany only nerds with no life who are not partying n getting drunk on weekends are free on a Sunday.

Back then, i most probably don't remember why i was there every Sunday, was it for the food after each service, the pumped up P&W sessions that left me tearing or the awesome people I get to serve with?  Even till today I struggle a lot with this, I felt so alone in this journey, I easily shun away from people whom i think are pulling me down and not building me up.  I really wish to have passionate people alongside with me, encouraging and consoling me when I feel like giving up.

I guess I am still not ready to let go of this hypocrisy in me.

Asking the hard questions - Part 3

Day 50 : 353hr 45min

Those are not juz any random numbers, today marks the 50th day or 353hours n 45 mins of my time in Company Sax (not real name of coz...) maybe i shud stay 15 mins longer juz to make it 354hours...

Wat prompt me to write sth on my 50th day?

I nearly got run down by a truck, not the big one of coz, but the small fork-lift-truck which ppl drive around as if they are Formula One racing car.  I shall call them the Stapler (it's a real name this time, but in german)  The stapler driver drives his stapler, as if he is Jay Chou in the movie Initial D, he literally drifts his stapler, as in by braking it's hind wheels and turn 90 degs in 2 seconds. And mind u, staplers don't usually comes wif signal light. I mean, how on earth am i suppose to know whether they are going to turn within 3 seconds?  ok, i shall be grateful tat i m still alive now, the stapler driver is quite used to idiotic ppl like me who stand in their way.  It was partially my fault for not staying on the pedestrian walkway, i mean, again how am i suppose to know where to walk n where not to? 

This is how a stapler looks like.

ok enough of the stapler story. No wait, there is another thing about stapler drivers.  They are the cutest ppl on earth, i mean who in germany gives u a horn 10 meters away and WAVES at u? awwwww.... they juz make my day... will definitely miss them once i go back to the books...

我可不可以不勇敢?

【几米语录】每一次我都说，没事，我行。我总带着坚强的微笑，一副永远勇敢的样子， 可这一次，我想说，我可不可以不勇敢?我只是小心翼翼地问了自己， 然后又带着坚强的表情，勇敢了一次。他们都赞许地微笑了。

3 major rules when going to a mission trip!

I was together with 500 people and 9 days in Latvia for a short term mission trip.

It was sth that i did not plan long enough or in other words - spontaneous. But i have to admit, it was worth it! Every single moment, even though it means sleeping on a thin mattress together with 20 girls on hard cement floor. And i manage to shower for at least 3 times! What an experience!

However being in Germany long enough to learn about how ze Germans try to structure everything and how we plan our week by the days and our day by the hours, it only took the organisers of the social mission trip 3 rules to put everything under control.

Rule number 1 - You do not get ANGRY! 

You do not get angry when your neighbours came into the room at half past two in the middle of the night. You do not get angry when the local latvian radio is on practically 24/7. You do not get angry when there is no timetable to follow and the school bell is the only thing u can count on to know when u shud eat breakfast lunch or dinner. You do not get angry when naughty kids are shouting at your ears while getting their presents. And not only that, you do not get angry at all!

Rule number 2 - Problems do not exist!

A problem will be a problem if u think it is a problem. And the word 'problem' was never even mentioned once in the new testament. Meaning, there is no such thing as cannot get a car for your fellow group mate who is a bit slow and has difficulty walking to send us to the most deprived area of the city to give out foodbags. There is no such thing as cannot organise technical equipment (video projectors, wires, laptop etc) to go to the nearest schools for Kids program. There is no such thing as cannot be patient or cannot dressed up as clowns to entertain the children who are coming for the Kids program.

Rule number 3- You are not going to get married here!

i mean, come on! we are trying to save the world here (or not) and of course there are nice, holy and godly people around you who you might accidentally be attracted to but push it down, all of the feelings, all of it! And thus it creates a safe environment of building (first) friendships (and only) and as a girl i do feel safe to just talk because of the open environment and not to withheld myself too much for the fear or misleading or giving false hints to our fellow brothers.

Overall to sum it up, the mission trip was a dream come true. There are expectations that are not fulfilled because of the huge numbers of participants but of course there are far more precious things that i've gained. I have learnt so much about myself and thus have more faith in the one who created me and to really believe that i can contribute and make a small change in a city.

Signing out

Pat

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Bachelor-Abschlussarbeit / Praxissemester beim CERN / Genf‏

Trust me... i really really really wanted to update my blog but i find absolutely nth interesting apart from my east europe trip to blog bout and the main reason being lazy... hahas... but decided to share one email tat really caught my eye...

it wud be really really really cool if i can manage to secure a practical place there in the future... wow...

keeping my fingers crossed!

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this is so true...

有一種女孩子在陌生人面前會很安靜，很冷漠，
在熟人面前卻很放肆，很霸道，
並喜歡一咋一呼的說：“滾，滾蛋，壞蛋，笨蛋”。
不要認為她很粗魯，她只是很單純的認為，
大家打打鬧鬧，罵罵笑笑，表示更親切，更不分你我。

這一種女孩子不談戀愛，只在姐妹間遊蕩
即使有不錯的朋友，她還是無奈的笑笑
其實她只是在不能確定自己付出的前提下
不會接受，因為不想傷害。

這一種女孩子偶爾看到街上的情侶時，
也會幻想，也會羡慕，
幻想著將來自己的戀愛
該是多麼的帥氣，多麼的溫柔，多麼的甜蜜

這一種女孩子，
喜歡和自己的姐妹在一起打鬧，大呼小叫。
即使沒有男朋友，
在她的世界裏，也有她的驕傲！

這種女孩子也會偶爾的憂鬱，
朋友問她怎麼了 她也只會說沒事
其實她只是感覺累了，
她只是需要一個擁抱。

這種女孩子不會輕易戀愛，戀愛了一定會好好珍惜。
她會驕傲的拉著他的手大街小逛，
不要認為她放肆，
她只是答應過姐妹們幸福要大家一塊分享。

這樣的女孩子戀愛的時候
喜歡大事聽男孩子的而在小事上調皮，耍賴。
不要認為她太小氣，蠻不講理，
其實在她調皮的習慣裏已經為你收斂不少！

這樣的女孩子不允許男孩子的背叛，
如果男孩子真的辦了對不起她的事，
她一定會狠心的離開你。
不要怪她太絕情，
她其實很愛你，但是卑微的愛情她不要，
她果斷的轉身只是不想讓你看見她滑落的淚水！

這樣的女孩子失戀的時候會在別人面前裝的很好，
大聲的笑，放聲的鬧。
當姐妹心疼的說：“你沒事吧？”
她會放下她所有的驕傲，趴到姐妹懷裏哭。
哭完了，苦笑一聲：沒想到我還會為一個男的哭。

若你遇到了這樣的女孩，
如果你們是朋友，請原諒她平日的不理不睬，
其實她只是不會社交，不敢打擾，
你想想你的每一次邀約，她拒絕過你。
如果你喜歡上她，請你不要說出來，
因為她很幼稚，你會嚇跑她。
原諒她的冷漠，
她只是怕傷害你！

若她喜歡上你，請你不要在她的世界裏消失。
她沒有更多的要求，不會打擾你的生活。
她只是想靜靜的看著你，
當你的觀眾，僅此而已。

如果你們已經在一起了，
請你好好珍惜她。
這樣的女孩子、太傻，
請你別讓她受傷。

這一種女孩子就以這樣的方式生活著，
她有她的夢想，她的希望。
一個如花兒般的女孩子，
她時而快樂，時而憂傷；
時而鬱悶，時而瘋狂；
時而邪惡，時而善良；
時而脆弱，時而堅強！
你可以說她傻，也可以罵她笨，也可以說她冷，
但是她們還是生活在自己的世界裏，
希望做一個幸福、善良的孩子！

taken without consent from fb... haha

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farnie...

i've always try to be funny, hav to admit tat i'm quite good at it too...

then someone comes to me and asks me this question :

"Does the world hates u?"

and leaves me dumbfounded...

i guess the answer is,

"no, not yet..."

someday, i hope it does...

"If the world hates you, you know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own. But because you are not of the world, since I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. " John 15 : 18-19

My roots... part 1

Chén (traditional Chinese: 陳; simplified Chinese: 陈; pinyin: Chén; Wade-Giles: Ch'en) is one of the most common Chinese family names. It ranks at the 5th most popular surname in Mainland China and the most popular surname in Singapore and Taiwan. Chen is also the most common family name in Guangdong, Zhejiang, Fujian (spelled Tan or Chin in Singapore and Malaysia), Hong Kong (spelt Chan in Hong Kong) and Macau. It is usually romanised as Chan in Cantonese, and sometimes as Chun. In Min (including dialects of Chaozhou (Teochow), Hainan, Fujian, and Taiwan), the name is pronounced Tan. In Hakka and Toisan, the name is spelt and pronounced as Chin. Some other Romanisations include Zen (from Wu), Ding and Chern

In Vietnam, this surname is written in Quoc Ngu as Trần, and is the second most popular Vietnamese surname, accounting for 11% of the population,[1] after the surname Nguyễn (38.4%).

Chen is also a Hebrew name used by Israelis. It is pronounced khen, and means grace or favour

Words that might just change your life...

"I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else." - C.S.Lewis

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much." - Mother Teresa

"Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear." - Thomas Jefferson

"For those who believe, no explanation is necessary. For those who do not believe, no explanation is possible." - Author unknown

....

oh hai blog!
not ready to write anything yet...
i'm very emo, homesick n full of assignments...
hope to see u soon...

loads of love,
ur owner

Mountain climbing...

as i was sharing wif frens about my mountain climbing experience (yea, the one i din make it to the top...) i suddenly recall sth n decided to share it out here....

life is like climbing a range montain...
when u r doing it, u don really see the route ahead,
the only thing you know tat when the journey gets tough,
it means you are going uphill ;
when the journey gets easy,
you are actually heading towards the valley...
but watever happens, just keep going,
there will be ups n downs, just keep pressing on
someday somehow you will reach the highest point...

key word here... keep the faith!

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Sleep well oh good ppl of Sibu...

coz the journey after this will be difficult...

oh well, there goes our 5 mil...

all these election news is making me hungry for kampua...

When will i ever be...

married?  nah just joking...

content is the word.  When will I ever be content?

As the first child of the family, i think i have first-born-syndrome. (duh!)
I tend to explore everything by myself since there's no one telling me what to do or what not to do.  I am a people-pleaser, my parents or even the whole family have great expectations on me and it is up to me to fulfill them. 

And lately in my daily walk as a christian, I unintentionally applied the traits mentioned above.  I am interested in how other leader do or see things so that I can imitate them.  I read books on how to know the will of God or I kiss dating goodbye to make sure I am doing it all right.  Every major decisions that I made, I spend most of my brain cells worrying and struggling to choose the 'right' one or to make it the 'right' one.

Micah 6:8:
“He hath showed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?”

Sounds simple.

Am I happy with where I am now?  When will I ever be content with myself, other people and everything else?

What is this feeling?

butterflies in your stomach...

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What is the motivation behind?

The famous inscription on the main entrance to the former concentration camp of Dachau

Ya so i have been visiting this place during the weekend. I don't really have any expectations before i went, but after the trip i start to ask myself, what is the motivation behind ppl(me) who actually visit places like this. For example, if you plan a trip to China, you will automatically go to Beijing to visit the great wall of China because they say if u never seen a section of the great wall, u have never been to China. So wat about visiting concentration camps? Why do visitors have the interest to join a tour of any concentration camps?

Well if you are expecting answers for me, technically it's juz pure curiosity that brings me to this place, i wanted to see it out of Germany's point of view since i've been to one in Poland. But if i were to ask myself about the motivation behind visiting this-sad-place, i still need time to think about it. It's such a mixture of feelings deep inside me towards mankind.

Lately, I've been dealing wif a lot of raging hormones and overwhelming mental activites. When i thought i can't stand it anymore because i magnify every single feeling and emotions and that's why it become so overwhelimg, i am reminded once again, that it is a wacky world we're living in. Why not take everything like a pinch of salt and really, for once, just learn how to let go and let God. Going without knowing - i desperately need to learn that.

oops!

to the horror of the 2 motorists who're charging towards me, i drove on the right side of the road today... and when i notice the terrified looks on their face, i quickly steer left... so, nth really bad happens...

life is good back home!